Category:Down Syndrome

History re-repeating itself. Recordings of accidents on automatic playback. Things found and thrown away. Things lost and longed for in new forms. Things not accomplished and casually abandoned on the highway in a black plastic garbage bag. Futures treasured in memory, destinies denied by circumstance, affairs stolen from privacy, sacrifices taken for granted and eventually recycled into orphan-grade toilet paper. Threads to follow, synchronicities to erase, powerless displays of vulgarity to point and laugh at, reticence to remedy, apprehension in the face of genuine opportunity to address, and crypto-misogynystic transferences of 2nd circuit malcontext to ignore.

If you haven't noticed, this has absolutely nothing to do with the genetic disorder described by John Langdon Down in the mid 19th century. Except in the quaint, but distant solipsisity of metaphor, of course. If this is not the page you're looking for then please fail again.

This category in the Infictive Hyperwiki explores an often disputed superstition regarding the 21st year of human life. In many so-called developed or developing nations young adults enter into a phase of temporary (or, given breeding and matrimony, sometimes permanent) state of magickal retardation following their 21st birthday. Indeed much of the cause can be traced back to the prolonged campaigns of appalling alco-phagia that occur when young adult meme-aliens are allowed to attend bars and night-clubs legally even though many runts are patronizing establishments of these sorts either directly or by proxy from age 16 or younger. The infection strategy runs much deeper than just chemical stimulus overload and the simple wanton destruction of brain cells by a liquid depressant.

Thus spake Pope Jellyfish:
with down syndrome as your guide, you'll be too stupid to realize that all the goofy, ridiculous things you do are in fact, goofy and ridiculous.

While this social lubricant flows steadily down the throats of young adult meme-aliens autotoxicity imprints the wage-slave mentality upon the soft domesticated brain of an entire inebriated generation bred on sugar and starch concoctions.

In the words of an uncredited scholar in the field:

As a less than objective observer of early twenty somethings in their natural habitat I feel more than qualified to elucidate on my findings. I can tell you from experience that these kids know how to have a good time and barring that they will go down on you out of sheer boredom. You really can't lose when it comes to these college kids. I've partied with them, broken bread with them, gone ass to mouth with them on the first date, and for all intents and purposes I became one of their tribe. There are many sensitive contradictions and paradoxes contained in the sanctity of their micro-culture. Firmly held folk beliefs that have been passed down orally for 1200 years. They're as stubborn in their convictions as they are secretive about their initiation rituals.

Some of the most important things an outsider needs to know about the tribe include:

  • Snorting lines off a dead hooker's ass is a sign of loyalty to the tribe.
  • Don't ask why the spaceship is invisible. Don't even bring it up.
  • No matter how much time has passed on the outside world an initiate only recalls two days in the Circus Ridiculous the day they're thrown inside and the day they're let out.
  • The only acceptable form of music is vomit party punk rock which is the antithesis to yacht rock.
  • The coin of the realm is Infictive and the current material obsession of the tribe is Tobor's underwear which are so stained and nasty that the ass section resembles hot-wing paper. They sell on E-bay for upwards of $750,000 USD, but you can purchase a pair directly through http://brenico.com/ from the wholesale underwearer (located in the cold part of New Shambhala) for just under half a million a pair. Act now and get a free happy ending hand-delivered by the CEO of Brenico Group to your place of residence.
  • What is loosely referred to in the tribe as amateur surgery is quite possibly the greatest linguistic aphrodisiac known to humankind when performed in a hut-tub full of amateur surgeons sitting waist deep in rice pudding. It's the new Twister.
  • All the double agents get the double barrel 10-4.
  • If you nod to the right it means you understand. If you nod to the left it means your face is about to get split in half.