"You too old to be believing in evolution with your stupid motherfucking ass. Evolution say people came from monkeys and the question is “why is there still monkeys?” You dumb motherfucker you. Is these the retarded monkeys? They didn’t turn into people just yet? Get your stupid ass the fuck out here."
---Katt Williams _Kattpacalypse_
First of all, you sweaty cockroach sized wannabe pimp with an ever changing greasy perm, we all derive from unicellular organisms produced from hydro-thermal pressure deep in ocean fissures billions of years ago. We don't come from monkeys, you dumb fuck. We come from the water. Unicellular organisms still exist. Protozoa, amoeba, bacterium, etc. They didn't die out the moment multi-cellular organisms evolved. This is the problem with people of 'faith' they'll believe any bullshit that fits their narrow worldview of creationist miracles. I'm not pissing on anyone's religion (yet), but don't tell me that evolution and entropy aren't the most prominent forces in population integrity for all species phylogeny.
Take your Abrahamic propaganda somewhere other than a comedy show cuz that shit ain't funny. Willing ignorance is rarely, if ever, laughter inspiring. Maybe our simian ancestors aren't as closely related as we might think however that does not mean humankind was magically put here by some extraterrestrial sea monkey plantation owner who sent his only begotten overseer to save our souls from eternal damnation. You tell me which sounds more plausible: a process of evolution that took us from aquatic life derived from the periodic table of elements that arrived here on meteorites and mixed with the primordial stew or a spontaneously appearing pair of opposite sexes in a perfect garden of eternal life? That shit is all metaphor. Anyone who takes metaphor literally is usually called naive, but in this case we'll call them zealots.
We share a common ancestor with monkeys, we do not come FROM monkeys, Katt. Wake the fuck up, put down the blunt, and read a fucking book that doesn't have "holy" in the title.