You only pretend to stop doing crimes

You go all over town talking to everyone about how you quit doing crimes now that the kids have moved in. After all you need to put them first, you tell everyone. You start going to all the PTA meetings and giving impassioned speeches about how parents should never do crimes. You start going to church too, fuck it.

But get this, here's the deal - you never stop doing the crimes!

  1. You're so good at this everyone falls for it forever
  2. You take this thing onto the talk show circuits
  3. You are a bad liar and bad at covering up your crimes