You take this thing onto the talk show circuits

You're getting a lot of mileage out of this holier than thou familyman pillar of the community schtick, and the crime money is rolling in. You give a particularly well received speech at church one Sunday about the evils of crime and vice and the grace that can be found in recovering from a lifetime of terrible decisions, and it's such a rush seeing all these good people smiling and nodding their heads and clapping when you speak. You get the idea to try and get on nationally televised talk shows with this routine. Maybe you could even make some money this way. The best part is, since you'll be lying the whole time, it's almost like you'll be doing more crime!

  1. You try to get a spot on the most famous morning talk show
  2. You start out on the church public access circuit
  3. You encourage other people to write in and suggest you as a guest on popular TV shows
  4. You decide just to start your own podcast about how great you are