You are a driver in a Destruction Derby!

You are Steve Feinsvelt, a professional destruction derby conisseur. The Destruction Derby in this alternative reality is bigger than Nascar in your reality -- Even bigger than football! You sit with your crew in the garage tweaking and modifying your car a bit before the big race. You are known for the suparhard alloy you've created that nearly makes your car indestructable. Your pit manager is Billy Thompson. A mollkin related to Johnny by marriage only. He pioneered the noncombustable-combustable fuel you use. Your sexy sweetheart is Amelia Antwon. You met her at a party in Jersey and she has been with you ever since. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't want her in your life. You plan on marrying her when the times right, but not right now. And your passenger riding shotgun is good ole Kyle Dearbone. This man isn't the standard propagandizing Kyle Dearbone from your alternative reality, but instead this Dearbone is bad to the bone, and an ally to have on your side. The buzzer rings, its Destruction Time!

⤓ Destruction Derby by Fear of Mollkins

1. Get in your car and make your way to the pit
2. Do your ritualistic five penis man dance before the Derby
3. Kiss your sweetheart
4. Do some high-grade coke
5. You plan to try and actually kill that no good bastard Phil Lectrum
6. Protesters show up to this month's Derby