If you channel up

It's the intro song for Love on the West Side of the Forest, that controversial new show about squirrels in love during the Park Wars. The pretty blond rodent sings:

"Love, love in dangerous times!
We must be nuts cause they are starting to eat us.
Why, oh why? You fill in the blanks."

⤓

• 1 If you settle down for a watch
• 2 If you turn off the TV
• 3 If you channel down
• 4 If you channel up 23 times
• 5 If you switch over to the local channels for some truly awfull crap to watch
• 6 If a culture jammer takes over the station