As you leave the house, there's this dog by the front door, jumping up and balancing on its hind legs with kind of a desperate comical expression on its face. It's holding its leash in its mouth and growling happily. The realization hits you like a ton of bricks. This thing lives inside the house, and it shits and pisses outside the house, and it expects you to escort it on every single one of these errands. You feel rage building as you put the leash on it and open the front door. The thing immediately charges full speed outside, nearly pulling you down the concrete steps. This little fucker isn't leash trained at all! That last Gwodder must have been laughing his ass off thinking about this while you murdered him. You should have made it hurt more.
Well either way he ain't laughing anymore. He's blowing away like a weird pile of leaves in the backyard... a weird pile of leaves... you look at the dog.
"What do you think about that you miserable fucker" you mutter as the dog pees on what's left of that asshole. Sometimes you're such an asshole.
You try to walk the dog around so it'll take a shit but it keeps lunging and pulling on the leash and a couple times you're worried it might be injuring its throat.