If you stay through the commercials

A scene of a man with an eye patch and wild blond hair making out with a beautiful Asian girl. Suddenly the door breaks open, and it's the girl's crazy ex boyfriend, and he has a shotgun. The man throws the covers up; the girl, naked except for her black fish net top tumbles off the bed onto the man. Mystery X runs out of there, taking time only to grab his wallet; he does not notice that his ElkCo Bank debit card has fallen out. As he runs to his car, he suddenly realizes he has no keys -- they are in his pants at that girl's place! X walks home naked, covering his genitals with his wallet, getting whistles and jeers from passing cars. Later, when he tries to watch some nude footage from Anyoneyouwanttoseenaked.com, he finds that his debit card is missing.

Meanwhile, we see the Asian lady and her big boyfriend on a tropical cruise sipping booze from a big crystal cup. We see X reel in horror at the bank as he finds out that he is now five thousand dollars in the hole because his card was jacked.

Back up the video, but this time it's the Chris Titan Credit Union debit card. The big boyfriend gets online and he tries to charge a cruise to the Lush Islands. The card notifies the cops where the jacked card is being used at; meanwhile, it gives him a fake police record and a "history of violent behavior towards cops." The commercial ends with the bad man being beaten senseless with night sticks, while his girlfriend is calling X, asking him to come over in about thirty minutes to finish the loving.