If you sit like Buddha in the center of the road

You sit down over the yellow broken line and you cross your legs. You hum a deep cascade of vibrations as you slowly go deeper and deeper.

Meanwhile, Budd Kaiser is driving to The Lodge. He sees you in the distance, just sitting there in the lotus position. He cries "It's the Buddha! I must kill him!" Budd stomps on the gas pedal and his car surges forwards. You still remain there, calm and cool as the car hurdles at you. The impact breaks dozens of bones and crushes your skull against the grill, you fold under the car snapping like dry twigs and pouring out in red rushes. Budd nearly loses control of his car: it swerves left and right, nearly side-swiping a tree. Finally he regains the car and makes his way to the lodge with a peaceful fulfilled look on his face. Your body twitches beside the road, every fiber of your being screaming in the pain you spent all those minutes trying to rid the world of. Your body dies with a bloody vomit belch...

...but your spirit has possessed psionic assassin for the Dept of Memory, Budd Kaiser. Budd drives to the lodge:


  1. If Budd Kaiser listens to conservative talk radio
  2. If Budd Kaiser is singing along to soul less corporate guitar rock
  3. If Budd Kaiser is driving along, wearing a fuzzy pink shirt
  4. If Budd sits like Buddha in the center of the road
  5. If Budd goes looking for Connie Sativa to try and wake her up
  6. If Budd goes after Oil of the Loyal


"Sit like Buddha in the center of the road" by the Incense Pumpkins