You adopt a groundhog day kid

Grundsaudaag? People these days are into freaky religions.

So, for a big tax write off, you adopt a child of the meth devastated mid west. A mute boy is named Methew Phones. This boy's parents died in a shoot out with the police when the fuzz came to shut down their meth lab. His only possessions are the clothes on his back and the foot-tall, fired-clay Groundhog he carries around with him everywhere. He's a nice kid and he cleans house while you are at work.

1. You throw a big Ground Hog day celebration for the kid
2. The kid has conflicts with the other kids at school
3. You pay for the kid's martial arts lessons so he can protect himself from other kid cultists
4. Get another kid so Methew has company
5. Join the kid's faith to build family ties
6. There is something about that Groundhog effigy