The Squirrel

Not a furry woodland creature, as such. More of a squirrel/robot hybrid created by a person or persons unbeknownst. Permset to autoslaughter with extreme prejudice against humanity.

Watch out for this one, kids, it's a doooooooooozy.

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"A wise old totem, ye, crafty as can be. Hir eyes gleam with the glint of a million extinct glaciers diced by a bajillion diamond-crusted razorblades. It's said those terrible cold eyes can boil the flesh right off yer nipples. Hir claws are sharp as, why, greased lightning, boy. Pray you never have to meet The Squirrel in a dark alley for that'll be the last alleywey ye ever meet with a stranger for a hot & nasty in, lemme tell ya boy. If you see that cold gleam, don't wait to blow yer load. Pull out yer Passion Soldier and commit Harry Carey via Spontaneous Human Combustion."

-Testimony of the Old Sea Captain to his unfaithful first mate