Searching for my Sansa clip in the blizzard

• Expedition to the Wildlands grove
• 1

Packing my gear for a near frontier. A journey into the Wildlands. I plan to map it, make recordings with my field recorder, and take pictures and videos with my digital camera. It should be a fascinating and rewarding experience. I have a long hunting knife, a sleeping bag, a back pack with some granola bars and a notebook and pen, a jacket and extra set of clothes. I have thought this out for a long time. I have a canteen full of cold water, and the canteen should keep it that way for about ten hours. It should take about an hour and fifteen minutes to walk threw Backfield to get to the border of the ancient grove that marks the west entry to the wildlands. I used to play golf here and me and my cousin would fling vinyl records into the air and the other would try to shoot them with cousin's sling shot. I open the gate made to keep animals and other hostiles out. The area has far apart abandoned pens and sheds. I avoid the temptation to take photos. I must save memory card and battery power to the wildlands proper. I walk in the ancient shelter belt. Planted a couple hundred years ago to protect the crops. There's little round mounds here and there. Covered with green grass. These are burial mounds believed to be a lover over a thousand years old. I can't resist and I take three shots of mounds as I walk on. The shelter belt has the ruins of a one hundred fifty year old barb wire fence. It once kept the cows the farmers owned from crossing over into the ancient grove or the then populated Southfield.

• 2

Now I'm at the corner of Backfield, Southfield and the great grove. To the south bordering Southfeild is a five mile tunnel of tangled branches and vines. A Man can walk upright threw large parts of it and pirates and smugglers have long been known to hide stashes there. Fist sized spiders house here, Many green eyes stare back as I walk a small ways down the tunnel video recording it. I then take a panorama shot of the thick woods of the wild lands grove. It would take about a half hour to walk to the other side of the start of this grove. It is thousands of years old. I notice the glint of what I first thought was glass. Turned out to be a red crystal bottle, just the edge of it sticking out of the ground. I took a picture then pulled it out. A small bottle of grape Elvin wine! This is a super concentrated wine a drop will buzz you. Normally its mixed with a full glass of water yet it retains a delicious grape taste at it packs the punch of a full glass of wine. These are rare finds nowadays and the recipe to make them is lost. I find a location called the Gate of dreams. Two marble statues of a couple children standing together. Brother and sister. sculpted by Elves. Ivy covers them and the have sunken to the knees in the earth. More pictures and some video. The old barb wire fence still stands and it is said a curse lies on those who climb it. But the Gate of Dreams is a safe crossing point into the woods legend says. So threw I go. A great thick tree branch curls like a entry wall door. While all around it trees and thorny branches press close together. I mix a couple drops of the Elvin wine into my canteen mix and take a drink. A wonderfully bold grape taste! This bottle is probably at least 130 years old and it still is sweet and rich. The heady brew hits my head instantly like a shot of hard liquor. I feel good as I step under the thick tree branch arch into the Grove.

• 3

It just got a lot darker. The trees here look primal. The place is alive with the sound of many kinds of birds. I have already seen two tree snakes waving their ways up branches. Lots of toads and frogs about. I video record some of this and I have my field recorder on in its highest quality to capture some ambient sounds as I sit and smoke a bowl for a few minutes. The leaves on some of these trees are massive! A warm beautiful area. Moss covered trees, damp earth with no sign of Humanity to be seen. Until I find the severed head of a cow. the neck a violent rip of hanging bones and gristle. Local wild life sometimes get the life stock and drag them in here to eat. Patters of light rain on the leaves. I'm not far into the trees but it feels like I have gone back hundreds of years in time. Up ahead are the long bones of some gigantic animal. I snap off a much of pictures. Mostly its the rib cage. Looks reptilian. The whole thing must have been around fourteen feet long! Later analysis of the photos showed them to be dragon bones. Probably about twenty seven years standing. But these animals where thought died out of the region three hundred or more years ago. Also the audio recording I make of the bird calls provided the sounds of three unknown birds. I didn't catch any unknowns of my pictures and videos. Ahead there was a small clearing and in the middle of it the legendary Mad Man's house. I froze in shock when I saw it. I came up to the edge of the trees that circle it. A normal looking house, just a few rooms bigger. Its looks about thirty years old and it ill repair. But I think someone must still live here. The Mad Man himself I fear. I take a lot of pictures and some video, staying as quiet and hidden as I could. Then I hear the sound of a old truck starting up from behind the house and I run. Deep into the woods in blind panic. I only see the nose of the truck. A red of rust like clotted blood over a sun faded brown. I ran down into the flood carved stream. Steep sides green with lush grass. Grass so light colored and pretty it looks like it would be good to eat mouthfuls of. The truck rumbled away and the sound faded off. I was standing in ankle deep water, slightly cool and very pure looking. I cupped my hands to catch a mouthful. So good! Like a nectar! I poured out my canteen and filled it back up with the canteen water.

• 4

I make a wide path north away from the house. I may return later. I have heard that there are wooden tools set up in the back yard to hold people and sever they're heads and other nasty devices. But I am too spooked and I go the opposite way the truck drove. I am walking along the deep cut banks of a clear stream. The water is knee to thigh deep and lazy. Green leaves float on it, I see turtles and bull frogs along its shore as I walk on top of the ridge. The channel gets larger as I walk on. The slope more gentle from erosion. There must have been a lot of water running threw here fast or a series of floods that dug out this area. It has a sacred feeling about it. So far no sign of Human habitation here. But the Wild People are known to populate the wild lands and they still sometimes do full moon raids on isolated towns. I walk down the slope to a area of level sandy shore where the stream gets thinner. I eat a couple granola bars and have some of that fine grove water. Resting for around twenty minutes. Enjoying the scenery. I look around the pebbles and rocks that fill up the sandy shore. I find a clear piece of quartz with a ancient twig preserved inside it. that goes into my backpack along with a few crystals and what appears to be a black tooth fossil. The tooth later turned out to just be a volcanic rock that was shaped like a tooth. But you can't win them all. This is a interesting area the walls of the channel are often times a pale pinkish stone. It looks kinda like fired clay. Other places might be hewn stone. I walked at the bottom of the channel. wide shallow waters drift by. A small level shore here makes walking easy. When I follow the channel around a tight turn it opens up into a pond about chest deep. Along the sides of the slope is the remains of a room. More of that pink baked clay. From the condition it has to be hundreds if not over a thousand years old. I take a lot of pictures and video here. I use up my first memory card and put a fresh one in. Its the remains of a large room. A level stone floor with unreadable worn runes. Most of one wall stands and a little bit around each corner. It appears this structure was built into the slope, maybe directly over the flowing water. Built into the clay floor is a warped and rusted table. Looks like a normal kitchen table. Probably had a glass top at on time. A metal oven now turned black rests in a notch in the clay. I pull it out a little to see it has wires that most have once hooked up to an electrical source. This phenomenon is known of in south field. Ruins of modern houses are sometimes found. Houses that have stood for maybe three or four hundred years but other wise could be something constructed a few decades ago. It is believed that Man is on a sorta repeating time loop of advancing until self destructing and then building back to start the cycle over. This is a really great find! I find four more similar ruins while walking the channel. The rest the same pink clay excepting the last find. chipped from one single piece of massive granite. It's just a wall hung at a precocious angle. A little bit of the floor remains. Carved and rendered perfectly smooth is amazing workmanship. The fragment must be hundreds more likely a couple thousand years older then the baked clay ruins. A lot more of my memory card is eaten up on this place. For the most part these ruins are safe to walk in but I avoided the cracked edges that often floated in open space, a drop to the stream below. On the highest peaks of this channel above the stream I can make out roof tops past the trees. Really old buildings, two or three stories high. Small towns and hamlets, I see three such settlements. They must be a ways beyond the trees. I think they are abandoned, certainly they are in a decline and bad repair if anyone lives there. The style of the rooftops is a hybrid Elf/Human style that was popular a couple hundred years ago. Probably there are abandoned towns people built in Elvin style before raids by the Wild People drove them out of the woods. This is a location I plan to go to at a later date for a detailed exploration. For now I have many pictures and some video of the glimpses of these apparently well preserved ruins. I begin getting a head ache and it keeps getting worse. I know what's coming. This is going to be a full on Migraine. I didn't bring anything for it. The tree filtered sunlight seems painfully over bright. The birds songs like standing next to a feedbacking amp during a long vicious guitar solo. I think I am going to throw up. I walk threw the woods pressing my hands against my head hard. Digging fingers along my neck bones trying to make the tight gripped muscles relax. Ahead I see a Elvin cabin! Still well maintained. It is a roofless building that has walls made up off trees grown very close and tight together. No windows just one door. The place had such a wholesome home like feel to it I stumbled inside my brain felt like it would crack my skull apart from the pressure. Inside there was two rooms, dividing again by the close growing trees. Tighter then bricks. I saw two elderly Elves sitting at a wooden table cut from a single great tree that grew there. The shelves where built into the tree walls. A living house with thick branches with bushy leaves that slope to draw rain water away from the interior. Tended by the Elf couple over probably a four hundred year span. The Woman asked what was wrong with me and I croaked out "Migraine". They where a wonder to see. I never saw a Elf before and no one I know has. But it hurt to see them. They led me to the other room. It was just a bed built again from a tree that had grown there. The mattress was a mass of soft flowers, grasses, and moss. It gave off a peaceful relaxing scent. The Man handed me a blue pill and a gourd cup. A wonderful sweet and fruity tea. I asked what the pill was. "It's a blue dreamer", he said and urged me to swallow it. I did. I don't know what that pill was. I didn't look Elf made, looked like something a legit pharmacy would sell. I talked to the couple who hovered over me like loving grandparents. I sipped the wonderful tea away. The Man said that the Blue Dreamer will ease my pain away and make me sleep for a really long time. He said he and his wife where going on a herb gathering hike and they won't be back for some time. They welcomed me to sleep in that wonderful bed. I felt so good and dreamy. I relaxed and grinned my way into a long series of extremely vivid and pleasant dreams. Almost like a delirium but so mystical and rich and enjoyable. When I finally awoke so so slow and gentle I found out that 16 hours had passed. The small place was empty. The wonderful couple had left me some "Leaf cookies" on the table. Succulent large leaves fat and juicy. Baked crispy on the outside with a crunch when bit into and a gooey sweet treat in the center. The leaves shine with flower sugars. I eat them and shiver with pleasure. These and the greatest things I have ever tasted. Even better then my Elvin wine. When finished eating I leave the tiny bottle on the table as a "Thank You" and I move on.

• 5

I see sunlight filtering threw the trees ahead. I must be at the end of the woods. I walk to the very edge of the trees and there is a abandoned field ahead. A third of it is a mass of young sapling trees tall as a man. The only other thing that grows here is grasses and weeds slowly reclaiming this field to nature. Beyond the field a healthy but very old looking shelter belt looms. To the right and left open fields, also abandoned. A deep stream running threw one field. To the right is the farms and dirt roads of the Wild People. A tribal people. They have have fields gardens and normal looking houses but murder rape and even cannibalism are not uncommonly committed by them. Outsiders breaching they're lands are often tortured and or sacrificed to they're Gods. I'm not entering these grounds on this go. Instead I shall skirt the edge of the grove and travel south. I keep concealed in the trees but not far from the end of the woods as I walk. I see several deer stands, where deer hunters climb up to hide and wait for the animals to come. Some are new looking while others could be over a hundred years old and are badly rotten out. I come across a wooden chair among the trees. It it facing a little pond where animals probably come for water. The chair is of fine wood and quality but it looks like its been outside for a few years and its starting to deteriorate. I walk on for several miles. I have come to the border of South Field. I have decided that I shall travel the length of the tangled tunnel that extends for full twenty eight mile border. It's really freaking. I burned a whole memory card making videos this cave of tangled plants. I didn't expect to see so many massive spiders. They look like black football helmets with thorny legs. Mandibles wide as the spread of my hand open and close and legs raise up in a fighting stance when I crouch by them. Its pretty dark in here. But sunlight gets in threw gaps in the brush tunnel. I find bones in here. Rabbit, toad and snake. Four miles into the tunnel now. If I have do I should be able to break out the side. It will probably be hard to do so. I kick the side facing the wild lands. Dry thick brush, stalks, branches of trees. Yeah I can get threw but it would take about for or five minutes of work. I find a opening two and half miles up. I step out into early evening sunlight. Its really getting dark and more spider filled in there. I eat the rest of my food and drink from the canteen resting in the lush grass that grows up to my knees. I notice tall ripe stalks of "Elf Gum". A brown husked plant containing a long cherry vanilla flavored pulp. Its really good! I grow it in my garden back home. I eat a bunch of it. I decide to sleep here. I unroll my sleeping bag and get inside it. I record the strange insect drone songs for a few minutes before turning off the field recorder and falling into a peaceful sleep. When I woke up I had to piss something fierce. I lurched up and I felt animals kicking away from me with sharp claws. It was two forest cats. Band of light and dark brown. Big fuzzy ears. I didn't get too good a look at them. The feral cats where sleeping on me! Tracks of unknown animals surround my sleeping bad. A lot of critters must have checked me out in the night. I eat the rest of my provisions so it is time to return on back. ***

• 6

I am going along a different route on the way back. As far from the Mad Man's home as I can get. I see deer, ground ducks, and many kinds of lizards. Take several shots being as I have a descent amount of megs left on memory card. I Am going north east. I come to a area that is obviously Man or Elf made. A whole field of large deep pools of water with tall rounded with age mounds between them. There's water and fish in the pools. big cat fish almost the length of my arm. I'm sure in of the Elves because it looks ancient and it still in great shape over all. You could fish from the mounds and toggle pool to pool by crossing mounds. They may be burial mounds or have other other purpose. I think the Wild People probably still use it for fish. I shoot three minutes video of my panning around the pools and mounds and I move on. The ground is getting swampier as a go. At times I am walking in angle deep water rushing along and filled with endless baby fish. So much life here. Endless birds fish lizards and bugs. A snake longer then I am tall swishes along and suddenly strikes, a struggling red frog in its jaws. I take a couple pics but they come out blurred. A couple more hours of walking and I see great tracks. Something that must weigh tons. Foot prints I can stand in. More pics. I follow the tracks, there's a few sets of tracks most going same direction. I follow. Each footprint has crushed the earth in enough to make a mud puddle. The trees are only sporadic here and tall weeds have taken over the landscape. This area looks prehistoric. I come to a lake bordered by huge trees. Walking in the lake are three Brontosaur's. Great thick necks stretching so high to eat the fruits that grow high on the trees. I burn up the last of my field recorder and digital camera memories on these rare animals. Its scary being so close to something that could crush me while walking without even noticing. I know I have reached Bronto Lake. A legendary place where some primitive beasts still water. I hear unsettling roars from the trees beyond and I cross back over into back field. The rest of my long hike back home is uneventful. This was a fantastic trip and I plan to return again sometime to explore further out. Maybe to try to find the legendary wall of the Wildlands. Said to stretch horizon to horizon and impossibly high made from massive stone blocks before the Elves or Man.

• Searching for my Sansa clip in the blizzard

Beware of thorn grenades. Beware of sabers made of frozen mayonnaise. Beware of that priceless Fling's vase. Chipolata French fries and turkey wine for dinner. I've not been all that too keen to go out into the blizzard. Coffee warms my guns, three pairs on socks and a green parka with a triad of mufflers. We have been leaving dried corn and popcorn out for the Eclipse Bird. Its a primitive looking stout bird. It's head comes up to my belly button. A massive bird with a crazy weaponized looking beak. They are not supposed to ever be seen unless there is a Eclipse happening. They are in fact but form this world, they cross over during the Eclipse, but we see this one every morning around 8 A M. Pecking up the food we put out for it. Kites break free from the strings and they glide soar and swoop with joy. Roosting in trees, eating flying bugs and making nests but of plastic and cardboard trash they find beside the roads. White clouds of snow rise up and swirl in funnels across the yards. Ripe trees with nutrient rich Sansa clip fruits growing from them. Eat them, put your music on them, or do both.

We fold the future, wipe our mouth with it. The past won't last, soon it will be gone. The lawn at dawn, the mourning paper sails your way across frozen vapors. The sky wounds our eyes.

White powdery crust building up in the gutters after rain. Soap meal clean with it and or eat it. Five new Gods now walk the earth....

The gloom bells warble. A constant drizzle spokes the earth. Moon cakes in the back yard. Photographs of mead. Tree snakes of a minty green. Oceans gather above us. Feedback shake down the circuit pond road. A nether nothing nowhere train fixing just to unload. The major maggot miles with glisten tubes pulsing and smelling like new glue.

Crickets chime in my dreams. I only dream of the sound of these golden crickets I cannot see. No light come on when flicked in this dream. Sometimes I can hear a alarm clock waiting sounding from the other side of the wall.

This Easter I finally got to go Easter Egg hunting with a hand gun! It's a annual event in Ketjack. They have his missive field where colorful eggs are hidden. The top three egg shooters in twenty five minutes win prizes. I got a one hundred dollar penalty for winging a ref in the arm.

Cold and late. Out after dark. So many dogs howl confine to back yards. Scavenge under cover of the dark. A crop of bent cigarettes some change. A unbroken robin egg.

I was born in a different here. Somehow I ended up at this here. This is not a good here, but its a more safe here then the other one.

Flakk slap its a burnt trap. A giggle of remorse, a yellow jello inferno of Hello. Its kindness at its worst.

• How's the world treating You?

Niles Griddle woke up at 7:14. He was supposed to be at work at 7:00. His kitten Spokebone had walked over the alarm clock a number of times during the night and at some point it turned the alarm off. Fucking hell hell hell. Niles threw on some clothes and grabbed a energy drink he was off. He sped most of the way to work but he got lucky and was not pulled over. The boss was there when he was clocking in 27 minutes late. He told him to come into his office when he was done clocking and and got his equipment. So he did. He had to endure a angry speech and the first warning of the three within six months and your out thing. He was called to the office three times that shift to get a verbal ass chewing by the boss the third time escalated to a screaming match that got Niles fired. Niles stalked out without saying a word to any of his co workers. Fucking pricks the lot of them. The sky had a strange electric yellow hue and the air had a strange charged feel. Niles paid it little attention being upset about losing his job. He turned his key and the car hacked wheezed and mumbled awhile before starting up. Brilliant cluster streaks of white lightning flashing from a cloudless sky. He flipped on the radio. Just static on his favorite station. He twirled the old school station dial. Static, static, a odd sounding acoustic guitar solo mostly obscured by static. He kept messing with the dial. Strange music that fades into static. More strange music that holds for awhile. Sounds like Men stomping around with huge wooden shoes and a mass of tuned bells and shrill single note flutes playing many long held pitches. Sounds pretty cool he would like to know who it is, what it is. It sounds like traditional music for a parallel world. He stops to pick up up a case of beer to get fucking wasted on. He ponders what to buy until he sees Golden Montana beer is on sale! To the counter it goes where a short conversation with the cashier about this strange weather follows. The storm is getting closer. Empty cans and greasy hamburger papers blow across the parking lot. Outside the wind is moaning a about opera diva lilt. A couple police cars scream down the street as Niles started the car up and head for home. The only thing he got on the radio is the local pop DJ talking about the doomsday looking storm coming in and how its messed up everyone's cell phone TV and radio reception. Niles tried his phone. No service it reads. The air almost seemed to crackle. There was a strange but somehow familiar sensation in the back of his mind. A lot more then normal amounts of sirens around town as he drove. Windows down. The winds steering his hair. A sudden hard cold blast of wind made the car buffet a little. It chilled Niles and he continued to shiver a little after it was gone. Shortly a hot blast rocked the car and the air smelled burnt. It feels like something was building. Something big. Before arriving home he saw ripples in the sky. Ripples of strange colors like the oily film of a soap bubble. He hurried home, breaking the speed limit a little on the way. Pulled into his driveway hurried the beer inside.

Niles Griddle collapsed on the couch putting the beer on the coffee table. He just sat there with closed eyes a bit then he cracked open the first beer. He packed a bowl and smoked it while finishing the beer and opening a second one. He brings the half drank beer and a unopened one out to his porch to watch the freaky rippling sky with its shimmering bursts of colors. All around him others watched the sky from their porches as well. More hot or cold blasts of wind. A chilling arctic blast or a heat so high it took his breath away. Many of the porch gawkers where driven inside. strange scents wafted threw the air. Finally Griddle was driven inside by a chilling cold blast. It had his teeth clacking when he went inside to try TV phone and radio and getting only static. Niles Griddle put out his stash box and loaded a bowl of weed. He took a couple hits then stashed the glass vial containing the remaining three grams of Blueberry Kush in his pocket. A loud bass roar made the floor vibrate. Niles looked out the window to see low gusts of fire balls brush over roof tops, setting some of them on fire! Mr. Griddle was on his porch again staring at the sky with disbelief. A jet was flying overhead and a sudden gust of fire ball -made it explode in the sky and spin down fast spitting chunks of steel and flesh to smash down a third block away. The ground shook, metal shards cut threw the air like throwing knives. He saw a Man across the street take a long metal chunk to the head and he was folded inwards like a accordion to bounce and skid across the street spreading him like jelly. Burning houses all over the. The whole fucking neighborhood going up it seems. Niles ran to his car and he drove away as fast as he could. He slowed down a few blocks down the road. The earth began to shake and he pulled over. Windows cracked in the houses. The road cracked here and there. An earth quake? Houses where shaking with cracking walls. The windows shattering. The road ahead buckled up and red hills rose all around him. His car was in danger of sinking into the ruins and he drove off in four wheel mode. Driving on the road as it broke yet somehow making it to the other side of the new red hills. Some how the jeep was still going and he drove to the Civic Emergency center that FEMA built just a few miles out of town. Conspiracy theorists raved about it being a detention center. The government said it was to house citizens in case of a major emergency. This seems like one. As he drove down a mostly unbroken street he was a huge creature laying on the pavement. About seven feet long and bulky. It looked like something between an squid and a soft pulsing root. with a long black barbed tail that coils and uncoils .Tentacles rising and falling weakly, white saucer eyes bulging out. Chest swelling and contracting like its trying to breathe some atmosphere that is not there. Now dude is really freaking out. That can't be from fucking earth! He floored the gas pedal and careened his way towards the massive building. He has heard that it could house ten thousand people. He drives past blood smears on the road. Sees parts of human body's being gnawed by hideous creatures. He is at the edge of town now, it should be easier to get the the shelter now. But ahead the bridge has fallen. The great covered tunnel like bridge is at the bottom of the over pass now blocking the highway there. Screams issued threw the city of the being killed. He stood on the edge of the chasm trembling with defeat then he hurried back to his car to detour around. Its a short run. A herd of some strange creature somewhere between a pig and a tick is running across the road behind him in the thousands. He drives as fast as he dares down buckled roads and the road folds trapping his car. As he gets out the road is shaking and he can see it gripping and bending the frame of the car. He takes off on foot. Leaving everything in the car to be eaten by the shaking breaking road. Others where fleeing on foot, sometimes thrown down by the shaking ground. Niles ran among them. In a panic. Then a monster rounded a corner. It was up to a Man's shoulder and walking on six thick muscular legs. It looked kinda like a Mammalian vulture with a cruel weapon like beak. he charged a running running and snatched the screaming child right up. The kid wailed as the family ran on screaming. The monster bite down with its beak making horrible snapping and tearing sounds. It didn't take long to get the little boy down and it was running for more prey in a feeding frenzy. Roaring with mean hunger. Then from around another corner a second Mammal Vulture thing comes. People dashing for shelter. A medium sized sturdy looking industrial building is here and a few folks are following a guy who just ran inside. The monsters are pecking at the iron door making dull ringing sounds. Folks are working together to pile up a barricade to help keep the door closed. After a desperate struggle the entrance seems to be sealed good and the monsters move on. The small group of people sit on the floor in exhaustion. The earthquake roars and freaking lights in the sky seem to have faded out now. The people look each other over then introductions are made. Meet Lori Symthe. She is 22 years old. She has a baby with her. A dark skinned curly haired baby that won't stop crying. You can tell she used to be pretty hot before the baby was born but now she is a little fat around the edges. Still cute and she is giving most of her attention to the baby she calls "Caesar". That gives most the guys a good chance to look turn her low cut shirt at large breasts covered by a skimpy blue bra. Its the kind of bra that is made with a patch to expose the nipples to discreetly feed a infant. One of the patches is open and Niles gets a few views of her large chunky nipples. He is so erect. There's Danny Prince. This is a tough talking take charge guy. The first time Niles noticed the down shirt breast thing with Lori he positioned himself for the best view. A little later when Price saw what Niles was checking out he literally came over and elbowed Niles out of the way. This guy is plainly going to be a problem. Talking down to everyone. He is claiming he is s Sargent and he fought in gulf war 4. Then there's Lee Nelson. A cable TV Man. 42 years old. Head shaven with a brown goatee. He is wearing a Duck Dynasty shirt showing the bearded Men of the family holding shotguns in the woods with a yellow dog beside beloved Grandpa Phil. He and Danny Prince hit it off instantly. Then there's Bill Darsly. Wearing the "Jesus coming soon to a saved near You", T-shirt. He has a blocky curly perm of brown hair. A short voice and a sinister under vibe that makes Niles suspect he is a child molester. Before having a talk about what to do now Bills wants everyone to bow they're heads in prayer. The perversion vibes coming off him makes Niles feel ill. Last there is Megan Branch. She is 57 a little chubby with gray/brown hair. Says she is a librarian. Dresses like someone much younger and indeed despite her obvious age she seems very young spirited. The ladies here are the only ones Niles likes, the others are assholes he decides within a half hour. Danny Prince has a take charge attitude and already he and Niles are arguing about what to do now that they are barricaded in this building. Prince wants everyone to find weapons and food. Niles wants this too but he first wants to secure and barricade anywhere monsters might get in. They have the door they came in from so covered with heavy objects that they cannot see outside. Its decided Niles shall check the doors and windows and the rest explore for weapons and food. They came in threw a plain office that has its own side door. Niles Griddle went room to room. This is some sorta of warehouse. Cases of soda and cereal, canned foods. But this building is not a store. The goods here but be in transition to somewhere in town where they are sold. But there are all sorts of odd things. Three palettes of potting soil. Then several palettes of motor oil. He checks the door. It's locked. The windows are reinforced with a wire grade inside the glass. He looks out the windows and he don't see any creatures. Or people. Just a city that looks like a minor battle took place there. Niles finds the restroom semi hidden behind a palette of diapers. He also found a bunch a cleaning supplies and among them a spray can of cinnamon air freshener. So he went to the bathroom and he took out his pipe and lighter. Three hits of weed remained and he finished the bowl. He then filled the room with a milky cloud of the freshener spray and left the bathroom filling really good. Scared but under the power of a heady buzz. On he goes checking doors and loading docks. Everything is locked and secured excepting one loading dock that was hanging wide open. The odd burnt smelling air wafting in. Niles sees some rodent like thing rush across a yard. Just a dull purple flash with red stripes. He closed the door and locked it with the dead bolt lock that was part of the mechanism. He had worked at a dock once so it didn't take him long to think it out.

He met up with the rest. They had beers in they're hands and improvised weapons. Danny had a military solider stud smile on his cock face. Niles grins and asks where he can get some beer. Danny Prince laughed "There was only eight on them in someone's micro refrigerator. We got the last of them in our hands. You snooze You lose!" , Danny took up more his share of the hall and roughly bumped Niles aside as he passed laughing and slapping palms with Lee Nelson, who had two cans. One open, one waiting. Danny had a old school heavy wood baseball bat under his arm. A medium length hunting knife in a sheaf at his hip. Lori had no visible weapon, but she had three beers and had apparently found a pack of smokes. She was trying to bum them off everyone earlier. Now she smoked contently. Danny was of the same basic medium height and build as Niles Griddle but he projected his forceful voice in a way that made him seem a couple inches taller. Lee Nelson had a short axe with a long point on the other side of the blade. Lee let Niles get one drink from the can. Cold and crisp! Good stuff. Maybe if we find out Lee smokes weed I'll let him have a hit, Niles thinks. Mr. Prince has decided every one should hang out in the room upstairs. It's a large office space that has a window that leads to a fire escape if they need to get outside. Everyone thinks this is a great idea, including Niles. Chairs are gathered from other offices along with a coffee maker. Coffee and beer is consumed while everyone talked over the days events. When the boys ran out of beer Lee went behind a file cabinet and pulled out the one remaining stashed beer for each of them. These Men really enjoyed being assholes and it seems Niles is their selected target. He planned to bug out of this place soon as it seems safe to do so. So it was decided by vote that Danny is the leader. He spent his time talking up Lori when the roaring baby didn't drown him out. "He has colic and I don't have anything for it with me the diaper bag is out in my car a block away", She explains. Niles could tell he was really holding back his annoyance at the tiny flesh siren but not wanting to piss her off before he gets some. If that's not what you want then why the fuck don't You see it? Niles wonders at Lori. Who he would like to mount himself but whatever he begins to say is drowned out by the loud bragging alpha male who is now the elected leader. She seems to like him too. More hidden beers are produced by the conservative alpha male committee that gave Danny Prince the power here. Niles wandered where the more danger is now, here or out side with the monsters. About an hour into the meeting a large wasp like creature smacked into the window hard and the window cracked. The creature fell two stories to crash onto a car parked below with a loud bang. It seemed injured, trying to fly off and smashing into the building across the street. It was a little longer then Nile's arm. Green yellow blood drops peppered the window. Everyone was speechless looking out the free windows at the creature as it hobbled out of site. "Looks like we are going to need to secure all the windows" , Observes Niles. "No fucking shit", Says Danny Prince. "But first we shall decide where everyone sleeps and take stock of what supplies we have".

• After the horrible War

Trumpets fanfare the arrive of a little blue car to a little slab in the middle of the desert. Inside military men in white shirts fiddle with monitors and controls of a vast complex looking system. An air of importance. Coffee is sipped, jokes spilled to Manly gaffows. Men enjoying their work. The room is chilly cool while the desert burns hot outside the fort/lab. Two tough looking middle aged Men walk to a door. The older one with the wisps of white hair and fat cheesy mustache enters the code that opens the door. They step inside. The chubby Man with the thick wavy brown hair nearly chokes on the twinkee he is eating. They flash top clearance don't even think of delaying us badges. The Man, Giffs Coldim's stomach gurgles a sick acidic sound the high ranking Men can hear. Giffs waves them on while belching into his fist. So many buttons and monitors. So much tension in the air. Five and a quarter star Generals strut about with their important faces on. The big brass generals flash badges into they are in a room where a jovial black man with a white peppered goatee grins them in. They admire his nude portraits of the staff and brass here. "Ahh you captured Joyson's penis very well", The big General says. Mr. salt and pepper goatee hands the brass a couple of huge handguns and hip gear to hang them and extra rounds by. They discuss cover over to barbecue some jungle sloth next Sunday. chuckles and pats on the pat. These guys sure are close. goatee clicks the code to yet again another security door and they go threw in, into a compact trainlet that travels on steel rails suspended in a great underground complex.

"yeah it has a certain dickishness", The white shirted artist agrees.

• Expedition to the Nearfield

• 1

Having survived the wildlands I next set out for a closer and over all safer place to explore, record and map. Nearfield. Mostly known for its many delicious and brightly colored berries and a small fruit called "Babynanas'. A rare super sweet candy like fruit grows crescent moon shaped and bright yellow. Tiny little crescent moons that fetch high prices in the farmer's market. Also known for it's many sinkholes that open up and swallow people every few months. The region is mostly over grown with prairie grasses that grow up it the high of a very tall Man. I first set out searching for the grave of the silver spider demon. According to legend a metallic silver spider Human hybrid with six arms ruled this region riding a powerful car he would run foes down with. A savage brute that ruled the land for forty eight years before the nineteenth uprising finally killed him and toppled his empire. He was buried with his car in a older burial mound but the location is lost. After a couple of hours of digging and searching the only things I found where old wooden covers, long ago rotted and weakened spanning old sink holes to cover them and prevent some passer by from falling deep into the water far below and sucked down a pitch black cold underground river until drowning. One of these covers I found by stepping on it and hearing it snap! The whole cover broke up and fell into a deep shaft as I scrambled across it barely making it to the other side. I took a lot of video footage of the covers and the now open shaft. These covers where commonly put up around seventy years ago. Back when the land was used to pasture cattle and grow produce. I very nearly called this Expedition off right then and there. These sink holes are a big part of the reason why this region is depopulated now. I decide to trek over to the old great fence and go along it for awhile. This fence spanning fifteen miles was build by cattle Men two hundred years ago. The badly rusted barb wires where fashioned in such a way that musical tones and rhythms could once be played with them. Old folks tales speak of a older fence, of large white rocks that where here first, mostly sunken into the earth by the time the settlers came. Archaeologists now think was once a border between near field and south field dating to the Middle period of Elvin rule. The decrepit barb wire fence here stretches on for 11 miles. It is called "The catching fence". I walk along side it look for things it may have caught. The first thing I find is a crumpled picture from a 1970's porn mag. A sexy naked blond. She is bending forwards making her large well shaped breasts hang. Pubic hair covering her pussy. Seductive duck face pout. The other page has some pics of her mostly dressed and going about her day. The last pic is a naked ass shot was she gets into her shower. A perfect ass. Into the back pack this and three more vintage porn mag pages I find while walking three miles along the fence. I also find a ghost shape cut from cotton. Fragments of walls the only remaining ruins of some old farm houses across the fence on the southfield side. I take several pictures. While walking along the fence I stepped on something wooden and rotten. I thought it was a sink hole and I jumped onto the barb wire fence and scurried to the South Field side. I went back to investigate and it was the back of a book case that was buried with the shelves facing down. Its full of destroyed books. They look really interesting and I take pictures before returning it the way I found it in case an archaeologist wants to check them out. The fence is also called the Catching Fence because folk tales say it also catches things from other parallel worlds. I don't see anything I know is from a different world but most objects would have little if any noticeable difference. I am planning on walking along the fence some more on the way back maybe I'll find something then. Not much animal life here. A couple jack rabbits and a few birds. Cruel thorn and sticker patches all over the place. I am cutting across the region away from the fence now hoping I can find the lost field recorder of Eldridge Smithee. It was lost when he and his expedition where killed by a pack of prairie wolves. Some equipment was recovered including his journal. The journal states that he got recordings of the "Sinkhole howler". A monster God of folk legend that lives in sinkholes and demand Human sacrifice. He also recorded some of the last pagan field rituals of the South Field tribes. But the recorder was never found. I don't find it either. The grasses grow up over my head in many places. I roll out my sleeping bag after four hours of searching I drink some tea I heat over a little fire made of dried brush. The grasses grow so high around here that fires could be concealed. Some time deep in the night I wake up thinking I heard a mystical sounding flute lilt. I turned on the field recorder and I fell asleep leaving it going. I listened to the five hour recording later and I never have found anything more interesting then the hoots of owls and cries of coyotes. The night was full of bats and flying insects.

• 2

I woke up at 8 A M that morning. With the sound of birds roosting in the tall grasses and flicking off to dive for bugs. Lots of bugs are out now, a whole shift on nature is clocking in and getting to work. From here there is little to mark the landscape and I get really lost. I spend around five and a half hours completely lost. The grasses are so high you can't make out any land marks and only flat lands below the grass. I find mountain lion tracks and that worries me some. Looks like a really big one too. I finally come out onto the main road to Arloban. Now I know where I am. I walk in the field nearest the road. This is cropped back 30 yards by the city's employees to make robber's ambush's harder. A practice left over from a time when the Wild People raids stretched all the way to near field. Now thieves, robber and smugglers sometimes rob travelers on this road. Grass huts are said to be set up all over the grasslands of near field to hide contraband and hostages. I encounter nary a hut on my walk though. Its just a two hour walk now to the great road that ends the Near field territory. I press on to the Great Road. This is a wide road made strong and durable by the Elves some two thousand years ago. A Human sized plastic doll is crucified to a barb wire cross here. Rubber flesh faded by sixty years of sunlight. His face was fashioned to appear ripped to reveal a disturbing machine eye that glows red reflecting sunlight. Solar powered it glows a dull blood red all night long. A relic of the Jeebus cult. I take Lots of pictures of this. Travelers have left him gifts for the past three decades. Around his feet are donuts, three cans of beer, A couple cigarettes, and some change scattered about. I snap of a couple pictures. I'm sure thieves collect these gifts from time to time or other travelers. But this location is isolated enough to make passers by a sporadic daily event.

• 3

Along the edge of Near Field are the ruins of beds, book cases, wooden bleachers. Probably constructed about forty to sixty years ago. I walk around the ruins shooting video. The ground collapses below me and I scream as I fall. I think its a sink hole but its a rotten floor giving way to A crawl space beneath. The crawl space is mostly filled with yellow sand with some brown sugar colored wet spots. I climb out and it takes a few attempts. My camera is O K and the footage of me falling belly deep into the ground is pretty cool. Well I planned to search for artifacts along the old fence line, the lost field recorder of Eldridge Smithee. Also to search some more for the spider spider's burial mound but the sink holes and collapsing ground around here has got me spooked. I'm going to walk back using the old trade road famous for robberies by high way Men. A smooth road. About a foot of compressed sand over the stone road made before history. Never has a sink hole opened up in this road, wise Men claim never will one. I make great time on this road. I don't encounter any robbers. Many trucks coming and going on trade missions. I catch a ride on a returning cattle truck. I ride towards the front in one of the stalls. Another Arlobanian rides beside me. He hitch hiked and walked his way to some holy festival in South Field and is returning.

• Stickypedia

Easter Bunny cult and marriage, within the Church of the Easter Bunny, are discussed in the book The Background, Ministry, Ceremonies & Sermons of the Easter Bunny Religion.

Easter Bunny cultist weddings do not require that both parties of the wedding be adherents of the cult. Nor does the Church necessarily exclude material from weddings of other faiths in its own ceremonies. One source, Motely Howe, has ascribed this to the E B cult trying to mollify members of the wedding partners' families.

Wedding ceremony

According to an article in Going Stoned Magazine:

"The book has five versions of the wedding ceremony: traditional, Informal, Single Ring, genital piercing Ring, and Concise Double lip Ring. In the 1990s, Canky russell wrote wedding vows that stress the mutual needs of the couple, now referred to as cult’s "traditional Pagan drugged infused ceremony." They include such quaint advice to the groom as "Now -----, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a drug contact, a comb, perhaps a gun. All caprice if you will, but still they need them," and to the bride: "Hear well, sweet -----, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him that you may have necessities and outside marriage sexual follies, too."

The Church's website describes the marriage vows of the E B cult as follows:

Easter Bunny cultists recognize marriage a mere trivial piece of paper. The second dynamic includes all creative activity, including sex, procreating and the raising of children. Marriages are consecrated in the E B cult religion using one of several different ceremonies offering varying degrees of group sex formality. Each of these ceremonies includes traditional vows of loyalty and devotion.