Well, ain't that a bitch. All your options seem to have been exhausted, and there is nothing left to do but wait out the End of All Things in this basement. Whomever used to live here hoarded some cases of tinned fish sluice, many different kinds of really old collectible sodas, a lot of freeze-dried insect larvae, and a big collection of dusty, mouldering filing folders containing newsprint and print-outs about... medical devices, and space science news, and classified adverts for herbal remedies, and who knows what else. What a weirdo.
This is your home now, and you will remain here until the whole "Judgement of Mankind by the Lord of All" blows over.
All by yourself.