Due to some priors on your record, it is impossible for you to legally carry firearms or knives, but you must be protected against this deviant caller, so you settle on the next best thing: a sharp stick. You spend an evening whittling away the tip into a nice point. Beware, idiot fans! Beware!
So far, no one has harassed you none since you started toting your stick around. Not that anyone had been before, but they are even warier now.