You are reading the online edition of Far Out Wizard Magazine. There's a article about the life and times of Chris Titan (19??-20??), allegedly killed during a experimental hive-mind attack on the Great Alarm that also took out Captain America, Les Paul, and The Soylent Green Honeybear! The news is sad but you are relieved just the same. You feared he was going to take the Alarm down before you could. Now you shall BE THE ONE!