Why fuck around? It's time to kill the source. Ugla-man! The pudgy menace to freedom whose trained chickens hacked the election to thrust Gerald Ellon into power. Back at home in the states you would hear OFTL loyalists say "America needs a real leader like Ugla-Man!". When you remind them that Uglavaria has the highest poverty rate in Europe, and that their fearless leader has ruined all the fresh water supply on the whole continent. They say "At least he gets things done, unlike President Liberal who spent his term raping and eating human babies". What's wrong with eating human babies? You wonder and you head to the country's capital armed with nothing but will power, rage and wits. They catch you ten miles from the city. You are tortured into giving up your social security and pin number. You confess to everything and they keep torturing you just for kicks. Seven months later you are still alive but half blind, weak from dehydration, and thin as a scarecrow. They release you into a bitter cold blizzard forty miles from the nearest shelter. You die in that frozen white hell.
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