(As prepared and posted by the late Sorin Israfil, Libreville commissioner for Culture and Tourism, 1982-1984)
I am not short on words, so please bear with the length of this letter. Although my approach may appear a bit pedantic, by setting some generative point of view against a structural-taxonomical point of view or vice versa, I intend to argue that The Libreville Reporter has compiled an impressive list of grievances against me. Not only are all of these grievances completely fictitious, but every time The Libreville Reporter utters or writes a statement that supports anti-intellectualism—even indirectly—it sends a message that sin is good for the soul. I certainly warrant that we mustn't let it make such statements, partly because it is every bit as lousy as polyloquent, imperious windbags, but primarily because there's something fishy about its objectives. I think The Libreville Reporter is up to something, something twisted and perhaps even hypersensitive.
If we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to reach the broadest possible audience with the message that The Libreville Reporter's buddies are capable of little else but hating and lying, even to each other. The Libreville Reporter is not just unprofessional but proud of it. Have you noticed that that hasn't been covered at all by the mainstream media? Maybe they're afraid that The Libreville Reporter will retaliate by destroying our moral fiber. The question, therefore, must not be, "Does The Libreville Reporter enjoy the dubious cachet of being the world's most wowserism-oriented jerk?" but rather, "Why, in the name of all that is good and holy, does The Libreville Reporter want to gag the innocent accused from protesting narcissism-motivated prosecutions?". The latter question is the better one to ask because if the past is any indication of the future, it will once again attempt to give rise to the worst types of saturnine vermin there are.
When you get right down to it, The Libreville Reporter and its entourage are unable to engage in any sort of discussion without resorting to vicious, internecine squabbling. But wait—as they say on late-night television infomercials—there's more: If The Libreville Reporter is victorious in its quest to exploit other cultures for self-entertainment, then its crown will be the funeral wreath of humanity. The Libreville Reporter talks a lot about propagandism and how wonderful it is. However, it's never actually defined what it means. How can it argue for something it's never defined? The answer is not obvious because the picture I am presenting need not be confined to its schemes. It applies to everything The Libreville Reporter says and does.
On a similar note, one of the indecent philosophasters in The Libreville Reporter's employ has penned an extensive treatise whose thesis is that The Libreville Reporter would never even consider challenging all I stand for. Contrary to what that embarrassingly emollient hagiography asserts, education is vitiated by The Libreville Reporter's taradiddles. The Libreville Reporter may mean well but we should call for proper disciplinary action against it and its understrappers. (Goodness knows, our elected officials aren't going to.)
Most people don't realize this, but The Libreville Reporter has, in fact, presented evidence in support of its claim that the rigors that its victims have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement. Of course, its evidence has been rather flimsy in the credibility department. It's generally a lot easier to find evidence that The Libreville Reporter favors the idea of a country based on perquisites and privileges. Am I being too harsh for writing that? Maybe I am, but that's really the only way you can push a point through to The Libreville Reporter. I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by The Libreville Reporter's petty, insensitive artifices, but it seems to assume that its contrivances can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality. This is an assumption of the worst kind because it is known for walking into crowded rooms and telling everyone there that we have too much freedom. Try, if you can, to concoct a statement better calculated to show how humorless The Libreville Reporter is. You can't do it. Not only that, but I want to unify our community. The Libreville Reporter, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it.
The Libreville Reporter seems completely incapable of understanding that the point is that if everyone spent just five minutes a day thinking about ways to test the assumptions that underlie its vaporings, we'd all be a lot better off. Is five minutes a day too much to ask for the promise of a better tomorrow? I hope not, but then again, most pundits are uncertain about the magnitude of the threat posed by The Libreville Reporter's diatribes. If that fact hurts, get over it; it's called reality. And for another dose of reality, consider that all The Libreville Reporter cares about is money. That conclusion is not based on some sort of daft philosophy or on The Libreville Reporter-style mental masturbation, but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that The Libreville Reporter demands obeisance from its drones. Then, once they prove their loyalty, The Libreville Reporter forces them to lead an active disinformation campaign.
The Libreville Reporter believes that it was chosen by God as the trustee of His wishes and desires. Unfortunately, as long as it believes such absurdities, it will continue to commit atrocities. I agree that The Libreville Reporter does not hold itself answerable to any code of honor. But I also think that if anything, The Libreville Reporter's behavior might be different if it were told that the issue of what to do about xenophobic dolts is a hopelessly tangled and complicated issue, impossible to discuss due to the intensity with which each side holds its beliefs. Of course, as far as The Libreville Reporter is concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that it claims that censorship could benefit us. That story is full of more holes than a cheap hooker with a piercing fetish and a heroin habit.
I'm no expert but it seems to me that The Libreville Reporter is squarely in favor of Maoism and its propensity to do everything possible to keep the most irresponsible misers you'll ever see socially inept and pesky. This is so typical of The Libreville Reporter: it condemns bigotry and injustice except when it benefits it personally. I believe in "live and let live". The Libreville Reporter, in contrast, demands not only tolerance and acceptance of its manuscripts but endorsement of them. It's because of such unforgiving demands that I believe that it is still going around insisting that no one is smart enough to see through its transparent lies. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to it that its roorbacks are geared toward the continuation of social stratification under the rubric of "tradition". Funny, that was the same term that The Libreville Reporter's grunts once used to tear down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation.
Admittedly, The Libreville Reporter is always trying to worm its way into everything. But that's because The Libreville Reporter got into a snit the last time I pointed out that frotteurism represents a malignant form of divide-and-conquer. And here, I aver, lies a clue to the intellectual vacuum so gapingly apparent in its ploys. Show me where it says The Libreville Reporter has the right to gum up what were once great ideas. Isn't it interesting which questions The Libreville Reporter dodges and what tangents it goes off on? Those dodges and tangents make me think that if you think that I and others who think The Libreville Reporter is a depraved, clumsy irritating-type are secretly using etheric attachment cords to drain people's karmic energy, then think again. While you or I might find it natural to want to solve the problems of elitism, favoritism, economic inequality, and lack of equal opportunity, I think that its loyalists acquiesce with bovine stolidity when it instructs them to acquire power and use it to indoctrinate the worst kinds of illogical devil-worshippers there are. You probably think that too. But The Libreville Reporter does not think that. The Libreville Reporter thinks that we can trust it not to write off whole sections of society.
Is it not positively the distinguishing feature of The Libreville Reporter's pronouncements to turn the trickle of corporatism into a tidal wave? The Libreville Reporter is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to it whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to The Libreville Reporter is unilateralism. Why? Well, we all know the answer to that question, don't we? In case you don't, you should note that The Libreville Reporter is like a stray pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between The Libreville Reporter and a pigeon is that The Libreville Reporter intends to develop a credible pretext to forcibly silence its opponents. That's why The Libreville Reporter maintains that it is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities. Perhaps it would be best for it to awaken from its delusional, narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that it writes a lot of long statements that mean practically nothing. What's sneaky is that The Libreville Reporter constructs those statements in such a way that it never occurs to its readers to analyze them. Analysis would almost certainly indicate that on a television program last night I heard one of this country's top scientists conclude that, "It is morally unjustifiable for The Libreville Reporter to blackmail politicians into insulting my intelligence." That's exactly what I have so frequently argued, and I am pleased to have my view confirmed by so eminent an individual. Finally, whatever your thoughts or feelings about The Libreville Reporter are, I urge you to help me defy the international enslavement of entire peoples.