Not guilty by reason of Demonic Possession

After a night ruminating in the puke tank, you feel that you've devised the perfect defence to lay on the judge: you were possessed by demons. How could they not buy it? What else could possibly explain the savage disgorging and cascading eructation? They will have no choice but to discharge you and send you on your way to find a priest or whatever. This is a matter of religious freedom!

Surprisingly enough (isn't it always?), the court completely buys your argument completely and lets you off with not even a fine. Why, you're an innocent victim of an evil world, and deserve every due care for your unusual condition. Unfortunately, this care for your well-being translates into a full police escort to the nearest church so you can be de-possessed at once. That has to be unconstitutional, doesn't it?

  1. Claim that you have cast out the demon in the night and are now free of dark influences
  2. Get them to stop at the Cult Sandwich Shop on the way for a bite
  3. It turns out that you really have been possessed by a demon