Justin Bieber

A warrior and a poet in the finest traditions of Canadian pop music. It says in the good book that when Dark Times Come, a savior with pretty blond hair and sharp dance moves will lead us into salvation and pop bliss. This is the One that was spoken of! Unfurl the flag, bow in salute.

If he was OUR boyfriend, he'd never let us go. Never let us go. Meanwhile from the evil island One Direction plot the downfall of happiness. The extinction of kittens.

Somewhere in Tibet, NSNYC, the elder masters, and the Monkees, the ancient ones, play a game of chess with the earth and all its tweenagers as playing pieces. The sea turns blood red, winged roaches eat the store shelves empty.