In Infictive - XLIII
This week's edition of IN INFICTIVE is brought to you in part by Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Remastered Edition, available on Blu-Ray and Youtube.
Today is Monday, December 8, 2014, which, as you may know, is the formal date for Japanese celebrations of Buddha's enlightenment (Bodhi Day), as well as being the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, in celebration of St. Mary's miraculous freedom from original sin, and, of course, the birthdays of the great Roman poet Horace and the great American poet Nicki Minaj. Truly an auspicious day for all concerned.
And this is your week that was!
- Uglavaria has denied reports that Ugla-Man was assassinated, responding to international news bulletins that the dictator was killed in an attack on a military parade. A flurry of speculation about the political stability of the notoriously secretive regime has included suggestions that Ugla-Man is undergoing radical cosmetic surgery and will have a new cybernetic head attached to his long headless frame.
- Closer to home, police intervened over the weekend to prevent toy shop owners from being harmed by a mob of Christmas shoppers enraged over the sell out of Infictive County: the Game. Many of the disgruntled buyers claimed that local vendors were colluding with scalpers and high-margin online resellers, to, in the words of Jack Jackson, one of the queuers who found himself denied the opportunity to buy, "keep the game out of local hands, where it rightly belongs."
"This is our heritage in game form, and it is being sold to the outsiders with fat wallets and no pride. Come down to the county and let us show you how much of a game this is!" Jackson continued, before storming off.
There has been talk of a mass protest against the manufacturers for severely limiting prints of the original run. The company responsible for the game has issued no comment on the situation as of this edition. - In calmer, happier local news, The Feast of St. Nicholas marked the first parade of the Christmas season, as members of the local Clausian committees helped to light up the holiday tree in downtown Libreville, the crowds cheering as Mayor Argyris announced that the city council would allow for a permanent installation of a Saint Nicholas statue near the site of the annual tree. "The city of Libreville has weighed this all very carefully these past two years," Argyris said in his statement, "and it is our decision that there are no grounds to prevent or hinder the groundswell of support for the placement of the statue."
The Hallowe'en Action Committee, through their spokeswoman Lilia Lightsey, responded that "this is just more evidence of the bias on the part of city council," but that this would not cause them to withdraw their support for a non-partisan "All Holiday Public Park" on the riverside, one of the key points of the so-called "Holiday Truce" that has gone into effect in recent months.
Police have received no complaints about holiday gang-related violence thus far in the season, though it is warned that traditional pranks and seasonal vandalism have continued to be widespread.
And now, your Bieber Fever Report!
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Hail Satan: As 2014 comes to an end, Justin Bieber is going into 2015 with a whole new look.
So went your week In Infictive. Join us again next week for more ho-ho-ho and hooray for Santy Claus!