Impending retribution

You wait in fear for retribution and there is none. You decide that God is weak. You sneak up to heaven after studying the occult for years to learn how to do so. You steal the personal dice collection of Jesus. It weighs 2 tons! So many dice you are renting a bigger house to keep them in. Such joy! You have people over for dice games all the time. You are a popular cat and a world class farkle player.