If you randomly select a channel while reciting the Lord's Prayer backward

You end up on a show about Bowlbetterology, the early years. Wow! You didn't know that they had a form of the art in Egypt of old. Many Pharaohs thought a perfectly bowled game would get them into heaven! You also learn that the Pharaoh Ramses the 34th created the modern bowling shoe and he used severed heads of the jewish slaves for balls. Sick, rich historic stuff.

But all the images they show are of Pool! Pool tables, pool breaks! What the hell is this anyway? All the narration speaks of bowling.

You reel in confusion...

1. If you try to get onto the live caller line and talk to Pope Simpson
2. If you flip the channel two times forward three times back
3. If you stomp on the remote
4. If you take up a life of stealing and hustling to pay for your gas
5. If you turn the radio on instead
6. You work in a manufacturing factory outside a colonial city 5 hours a day