You are dedicated. For the next seven years you read the book every day pretty much all day. You memorize the entire thing, You can even recite any passage backwards. You impress Jesus so much he comes down to visit. The plan works perfect. You taze him and he falls to the ground. You bring out the cross and nail him to it before he recovers. You use him as a ghastly lawn ornament for Halloween. You watch him suffer and die over a three day period then you take him down and boil the flesh away to get at the bones. You take ground Jesus bone gel caps twice daily and you have never been so healthy and energetic.