If you get a lawyer to try and get your soul back

You drink the Taco Pop as you drive to work. You clock in and start working the ugly grinding gears of the American Hate Machine. You work what is left of your shift and go home. You decide to make the best of this life because you are going to burn in hell for all eternity suffering pain beyond flesh. You begin to wander if Satan and God are really opposed, or if this is some kind of racket they have going on. After all if God really loves us why are the majority of the worlds population going there? When you get home you drink your last two beers that you had been saveing. Better get what you can while you can. But not long after that your house cathes on fire while you are asleep and the fire alarm does not go off. Then you nearly end up in a head on collision with a car load of drunken teenagers who flip you off as they pull away. It seems two or three times a week something happens that could have killed you. You decide to get a lawyer and sue the devil for unfair business practices.