If you ask to see a lawyer to get you out of Hell

You only get one phone call to the other side. You call your lawyer. He's slightly off kilter from years of sniffing glue. But he's a good man and he means well. You are kept in a cell in purgatory during his attempt to free you. You are nearly completely covered in biting insects and this is like a vacation compared to the treatment you received in Hell. This trail could take a couple of decades but your lawyer says if he wins this case they have to give you your life on earth back.

  1. You get used to purgatory
  2. The holy ghost acts as judge and trail is on