2012 Soda (object card)

Dark red can of 2012 Soda, identifiable by that Mayan-or-Aztec-type calendar logo emblazoned on the side. No ingredients listed, no manufacturer information. Thick and creamy, almost slimy, and tastes like chocolate mixed with blood. Drinking this soda, packed with mystery herbal concentrates, puts you into an instant encounter with The Great Alarm, but do not fear: there is no combat, only terrible enlightenment. You can begin the entire game over from the start: this time you start with -15 happiness, only 4 health, but keep all your objects, while the other players are just reset completely, restored to +5 happiness, 15 health, and none of their current objects, perfect blank slates.