1888 (MDCCCLXXXVIII). Leap year.
Blizzard warning. Recommend all visitors avoid eastern seaboard of North America in March (11-14).
Washington Monument opened to public on October 9. Election of Buddy Knox to U.S. Presidency. Vincent van Gogh cuts off the lower part of his own left ear on December 23. Jack the Ripper in London. Pelorus Jack in Cook Strait. First railway in China. First synthesis of amphetamine sulfate in Germany. Capital building in Austin. Three German Emperors.
All visitors urged to avoid contact with Dr. Moses Nebogipfel for reasons of personal safety.