A review of monitored events and research notes for the final week of August 2012.
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Today is Monday, September 3, 2012, but you probably knew that, and you also probably know what happened last week, but that has never once stopped us from filling this update, has it? And so...
- Are illegal time-travellers revealing the hottest trends in future fashion before they happen?
- A local woman stuck her paramour with a trident on Saturday morning, another incident in a growing trend of genital violence, first reported in the Netherlands as "Paling Steker" attacks. Thus far, psychologists and criminologists remain stumped as to the causes of this upsurge, and have been able to offer little advice on how to counter it, save that men should all wear special titanium cups.
- In unrelated news, sales of the popular "LARV" series of toilet training and safety games by Juanico have exceeded all expectations again, winning yet another quarter in the sales race, the new figures making it the most successful mobile phone game ever made. So flush with success, what's next for the developers? We are told they plan to develop a comprehensive program for re-educating entire populations in the language of Esperanto, part of their global campaign to make it the international language of commerce and exchange.
- 10 million pounds of quality Canadian maple syrup have been stolen from the global strategic maple syrup reserve in a daring heist. Despite assurances that it will not impact the flow of the syrup to distributors, some experts are suggesting the "raid on the sugarshack" could potentially disrupt or even reverse the entire recovery of the world economy, fragile as it is after decades of mismanagement and corruption. Locally, the theft has left regional beverage industry giant Taco Pop's efforts to expand northward with their new line of Moosey Maple Soda Pop temporarily in limbo as questions over the supply security of the internationally important maple syrup trade linger.
And that was the week In Infictive. Thanks to everyone who attended the send-off for Professor Wallace. A new director of the Infictive studies group will be selected by lottery at the next meeting. Be there or don't.
