If you chat with Helga

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After clicking through the user pages of the singlewhitefemales.com, you come across Helga, a woman of german-rushian decent who speaks english, grussian (a sexy form of german and rushian) and bok thai, the long lost language of her first lover. You pay the 39.95 one time debit transaction. The payments will recur monthly, but you think to yourself I dont think it will take me a month to find the girl of my dreams!. Although it took 10.5 straight hours of weed and soda, you make it through most of the user pages and find sexy Helga. With blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes that the typical female germans have, you send her the invitation to your throne room -- A one way ticket to the pollination of your life -- The essence of which you breathe --

A few days goes by and you hear nothing. You really liked Helga, so intermittent sessions of derpression kick in. After eight days of waiting she replies her lists of interest: blister pack toys, ICP Squirrel Possy(reprasent), and weed. Its a match made in heaven!!

You..

  1. Talk to her for a year gaining her trust
  2. Send her some money as she requests
  3. Have phone sex with Helga
  4. Send Helga naked pictures of you from mypenis.com
  5. Meet her in Vegas for a sleezy, sexy time
  6. Fly to meet up with her, only she dumps you cause you're too overweight
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