A new agent is accessing the Matrix. It requires a physicalization process. Inside the Matrix it is called birth. For those of us with dual citizenship it is called "The Access". Inside the Matrix we still have but a vague recollection of our second life. It is generally a hard won consciousness from drugs, magick and the uncanny stimulation from certain types of media. We only call it The Matrix after William Gibson was able to wake up a few thousand agents. Before that some of us just called it "The Game", sort of a "Tron" like experience glimpsed from taking LSD and nitrous oxide.
This time its different.
The agent has hacked the physical time-space of one of the agents. This agent is myself which makes it more difficult to narrate. More difficult now than it has been in the past when it seemed natural to narrate in the third person as the first person. Hacked is an unfair and inaccurate description because this is a grand mission plan that seems to encompass the entire scope of my life as I know it.
The details are hazy. At first it seems like it was some sort of mistake. But as time progresses I start to have faint recall of the arrangement that was made to bring in this agent. An arrangement that was made over 20 years ago and involved a series of magickal initiations to alter the DNA to a sufficiently pliable state that would insure the full functioning of the agent I was to assist.
Early on I was instructed by "The Invisible College" that certain Masonic Initiation Rituals would change the DNA. DNA sees to react to experience to cause a shift in its structure. Not the rote repetition of ritual but a truly engaged participation with divine energy via precise ritual structure. The initiations were to actually be founded upon a life long Self-Initiation process following the Tree of Life program set out by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. The process was finally initiated with the completion of rites of initiation into the Catholic Church, namely the sealing with Holy Spirit or Confirmation. That process was begun when I was merely an infant myself.
In retrospect it took over 20 years of nearly daily application to achieve the required state of growth...and now that the process has begun I am less confident than ever at my success.
The other requirement was the female vessel. I was shown this entity in High School and was flooded with emotions that were trans-temporal, this was "The One", a nearly crippling experience for a 17 year old kid. It was to be twenty years before the physicalization could begin so I was separated from her with only the sure knowledge that she and I would one day be together. This experience is outlined in the Knight of Resignation Degree of The Knights of the Blue Hand, developed from Kierkegaard's work.
I now only attempt to make this report to clarify things for myself. It almost seems a breech of security to do so. I have no idea what the opposition might now about this operation. I have a close knit group of brothers that I rely on very heavily at this time. The recent changes have nearly neutralized my effectiveness as a ground agent. Requirements, no doubt, to ensure that I can selflessly support the growth of "he who comes forth".
The risks of incarnating in the Matrix from the upper levels of our primary abode are enough to make me tremble with fear. The subtle and difficult process of navigating "life's difficulties" will prove to be a monumental task.
As we understand it the agent will, like us all, lose all recall when he emerges into Malkuth station. And it will be our responsibility...my responsibility to see that he is given the proper support to develop his primary recollection. He is a greater agent than I am and I am still confused why I was chosen to help bridge The Abyss.
Acquiring the proper diapers...the physical details are already slightly overwhelming. This mission of going to require another twenty years.
Since the inception of this phase I have had a harder time getting back to the "Boardroom Level" of consciousness. Having to become totally sober from weed and alcohol is requiring a lot of heavy duty reformation of my brain chemistry. I am confident that without the 20 years of preparation I would have lost my connection to the Boardroom altogether. The female partner laughed when I told her that she had taken the Blue Pill of forgetfulness, she knows she did, has a glimpse of the other place, but is unable to perform her mission with the dual consciousness. I find it stiffening and confining. I think that is why I feel the need to write this report. I must keep my awareness of my dual citizenship clear inspite of the serious challenges that the next phase of the mission entail.
It is a humbling position to be in... to be the loving parent of a fellow agent...one greater than yourself...so intimate that I almost balk at sharing this experience at all. I certainly don't intend for this to cheapen the depth of my sincerity and the love I have for this child. But as I have been programmed with Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" on Children...they do not belong to us but come through us. Its no wonder that I recorded the Prophet and played it a thousand times while getting stoned in my tent in the back yard when I lived with my parents.