Why white underwear can kill

It turns out that he was right about this one, but it wasn't accepted 'til later the next century. By this time Feagie Benton, a local scientist, claimed it was his idea, and the world rode on his jock strap, so the idea was then "True". Turns out that the color white sucks the life out of the genitals and sends it direct to the Great Alarm. It's so wrong.

Common tell-tale signs of White Underwear Death syndrome-

• You don't think about sex for more than three minutes.
• Your skin becomes pasty like the underwear.
• If worn more than six hours the underwear begins fusing with your skin.
• If worn more than eighteen hours the underwear become so deeply colored yellow in front with a thick brown streak in back that bleach is utterly powerless

McFing says it was a old one-third Cherokee-Two thirds-Scottish oral tradition that spoke of the ills of white underwear and how a man can transform into a gigantic carnivorous squirrel by moonlight to sever meats for chewy meals.