mNo edit summary |
mNo edit summary |
||
| Line 85: | Line 85: | ||
5-3-17 lucid night dream | 5-3-17 lucid night dream | ||
Before this dream Carney called me a little past 11pm waking me up. It pissed me off so I let it ring and went back to sleep. But in the dream I cannot get back to sleep. I say "What the fuck Carney don't call me that late". I hear him answer beside me in bed. He is naked under the blankets and he wants to rub his crotch against me. I fight the bastard off. Next thing I know I am in the living room and its dark. Something is strange about the room and it is cold from a cranked up window unit. My family is in Colorado and I am the only one on the farm. I realize I am in my old trailer. Who the fuck is wasting electircity cranking up a AC unit in a trailer no one lives in? Probably the kids. I gather my stuff. Seems I have a armload of things to haul back. I try to turn it ac off but I cannot. I drop my smartphone and crack the glass in several places. No more display, just gray fuzzyness on the screen. I hear a ragged dirty engine sound outside after thinking I saw headlights on the farm a few times. I am now sure that I am hearing an engine. I try to turn the trailer lights off but they won't. I go outside, the old trailer is by the garage. I is dark and hazy out here. I think I see a truck made for hauling tree limbs, fully loaded and parked there. I get so weak and tired I lay down on my back in the yard. It's not a truck is a dirty old white four wheeler. A driver kid and another kid riding behind him. They start up the machine to leave, after doubtlessly stolen something. I cannot move. Dude starts up and guns the engine and the machine surges forwards out of control and flips side to side. | Before this dream Carney called me a little past 11pm waking me up. It pissed me off so I let it ring and went back to sleep. But in the dream I cannot get back to sleep. I say "What the fuck Carney don't call me that late". I hear him answer beside me in bed. He is naked under the blankets and he wants to rub his crotch against me. I fight the bastard off. Next thing I know I am in the living room and its dark. Something is strange about the room and it is cold from a cranked up window unit. My family is in Colorado and I am the only one on the farm. I realize I am in my old trailer. Who the fuck is wasting electircity cranking up a AC unit in a trailer no one lives in? Probably the kids. I gather my stuff. Seems I have a armload of things to haul back. I try to turn it ac off but I cannot. I drop my smartphone and crack the glass in several places. No more display, just gray fuzzyness on the screen. I hear a ragged dirty engine sound outside after thinking I saw headlights on the farm a few times. I am now sure that I am hearing an engine. I try to turn the trailer lights off but they won't. I go outside, the old trailer is by the garage. I is dark and hazy out here. I think I see a truck made for hauling tree limbs, fully loaded and parked there. I get so weak and tired I lay down on my back in the yard. It's not a truck is a dirty old white four wheeler. A driver kid and another kid riding behind him. They start up the machine to leave, after doubtlessly stolen something. I cannot move. Dude starts up and guns the engine and the machine surges forwards out of control and flips side to side. Flipping over right in front of me. I try to scream at them. "What the fuck I was sleeping in my yard and asshole trespassers invade!", I want them to think I sleep outside to throw them off. They speed off and I start returning home pondering calling the police. I feel the cops will just take me to jail for whatever excuse they can find so i don't. I hear the four-wheeler coming back. I try to run along the ridge that is the treeline with a valley on the other side. I am soweak and tired I fall onto my back and cannot go no farther. But my body starts sliding forwards from some unknown pull and briefly I realize that I am dreaming. I am in a wooded area and I look for a weapon. I pick up a long strip of thin metal to make it look like I am holding a rifle. But the strip keeps bending. I try to scream "I will kill you, I will shoot you!", But my voice is thin and weak and I can just barely walk. | ||
I am talking to Ikipr. It seems like the room we are in is one ran through one of my phone apps. Now the bricks are a soft tan with black outlines. The room seems to be somewhere underground but it is very clean. He advises me to not binge too fast through the soundtrackings of the Foundation Day 2017 recordings. Something about burning out or becoming cognitively impaired being likely results of too many tracks recorded per day.
I am at the end of the shelter belt that borders the north end of the farm. There is a dry pond there on someone else's land. Just on the other side of the shelter belt. In this dream is has a Mayan or Aztec look. It is raised and lowered levels made for ceremonial and agricultural use. The areas below ground level were once under water farming water digs. All ancient ruins now but now as old as you would expect. Rather than a thousand years old it seems more like three or four hundred years old.
Governments have fallen, Federal and state. I am in a city. Signs of damage from a past conflict. A tribal society has formed. Sex is easy to come by. The Women reject no advances. I am feeling up a warm pretty young Woman. We are hungry and there is nothing to eat. We are boiling shoes to make shoe soup. I form no bonds fuck a pretty Woman and move on without a thought. We sleep in piles.
It is a political world. As a non-Christian person who does not believe that all the wrong in the world is a result of the billionaires not having enough money, me and my people are smeared and demonized. In fact, the whole reality space as been somewhat hacked by manipulative hands. I find myself in a twilight state and in this state I find I can commit the crime of reality hack. I start bringing things back into an honest true narrative. I created stacks of these blue rectangular semi-mega stones. These mind generated stones are filtering the truth back into the world narrative. It brings back the simple truth that liberals tend to be HARD working people who do not believe that only church going bitches are the only good people. People who actually care about the common human rather than worshipping the wealthy as holy agents of God no matter who they exploit and destroy to get their big dollars. I know that by doing good I am breaking rules that some other hand as hacked into place. A strong feeling but by doing good I am breaking all the laws. That by getting the tight grip of a religious intolerance machine off our throats I am a villain. A nasty piece of work I am for protecting the water we drink from being poisoned, and its working. I know I am the most evil human around for my letting hungry kids go to bed with filled bellies. Evil X on the job.
I am seeing all these white people who are as ethnic as they can be. As different from me as they can. So many different faces noses, chins. A wonderful magical variety of white people races I have never seen before. Probably based on the fact that my one third breed grandma looked so different to me as a child but it was a "dirty family secret" that we are mixed raced. So I wondered as a child why her nose was like that why her skin was darker why the high cheek bones. My only logical conclusion as a kid was she was fucking far east European, on the edge of Caucasian.
I am hanging out with Scrim in my back yard on the other side of the shetler belt. I hear strange video game like sounds. I look up in the sky and I see these blue lights. A pattern of them. The lights flash across the sky becoming a huge mass of transparent blue like a single cell organism. Within it brighter more solid lights can be see. "Do you SEE THAT?". I ask Scrim. I am pretty sure I am looking at a space craft. Scrim sees nothing. The lights streak closer and they plummet down much lower right at my trailer. The ship projects blue squares of light that streak for hot red blues. The trailer is hit! We are inside it and we run outside. The trailer is a blazing fire. I keep screaming "Oh fuck!" The trailer is built like my last one was. The kitchen on the other side. A solid wall of fire. "Everything is gone! My fucking insulin is gone!", I scream. We are in the shetler belt. The lights come back a couple fires shooting fire at us. But the fire just goes a bunch of random places. We are not killed. I keep trying to talk Scrim into going into shelter w me. Tami shows up at some point and we are back in the trailer. On bunk beds. I keep hearing odd bits of video game music and people talking with words I can never understand. But the three of us are the only people here. Another attack and me and Scrim run outside so we will not be trapped in a burning trailer. The earlier fire is out and only the outside walls show any small details of being burnt. When I run I feel so tired, my legs can't move right. We are behind the trailer now. Everyone standing around confused. My father and sister are here. I tell Sc "That's my father but he is dead. I talk to dad. "I inform him that he is dead. He just grins and shrugs his shoulders. Another attack everybody scatters. My sister is leading him briskly off around the corner of the trailer. I feel he is safe with her. I tell Scrim to run for the storm shelter. But he does not follow me and I lose track of him. I am going at the speed of a slow walk while the space ship descends making more fire. I am terrified but I cannot walk. I fall belly down to the grass on the east side of the storm shelter. I cannot move but I am somehow sliding forwards slow. I make it inside the storm shelter. I hold the door mostly closed but ready to let Scrim in. He never shows up. I hear louder video game music past the garden. I look there and I see a massive yellow wheeled machine with a long "snout" like cone in front of it. It is coming fast and I go halfway down the concrete steps. It bumps the storm shelter as it goes by crushing everything in its path. But the way it was going it should have flattened part of my home and I hear no sounds of this happening.
There is a new right wing toy company that sells racist toys to indoctrinate the kids into white supremacy and worship of the rich and to be keyed against any laws that would protect the environment. So I start up an upstart toy co that takes the opposite take. Punch a Nazi games. Games that mock the church. Sexy bisexual toys. Whatever fits a leftist agenda to piss off the right after I get sick of them putting out all the Nazi toys and saying no one else has a right to an opinion.The toys wars continue with ever more rude and offensive card games, board games and all sorts of toys. In the end, I began making killer drones that fly around picking up right-wing radio signals and killing everyone is the house. Drones that look like jumping jacks that fly under people's tires to flatten their tires while they drive at high speed causing horrible accidents. Card games to left biased that the players who longer hate all Arab people. Seven-foot tall blue kill bots. Good Times.
I move to a Park City trailer park. Outside my new home I see a porcelain doll sitting on the porch. then it moves. I see it is alive and can talk. I take it home. then meet the mom and kids who live there and return it. Now in trailer i am looking at the stone polyhedron dice I have carved. Ikipr brings over about five flirty topless beautys. We mess around a little with the ladies. When the ladies live one of them tries to steal my stone dice but I catch her. Ikipr has to hold one steady while I frisk her to get my dice back
I go outside my mother's bedroom. The steps are steeper there now. I see a mountain lion sleeping on the lawn. I am amazed but it's a big beast about 220 pounds. I try to quietly back into the house without waking it. But I cannot move. I realize this is not a mountain lion at all! It's a full tilt 350 pound African lion! I keep trying to get back into the house. My feet will not move. I lean forwards at a 90 degree angle trying to move. No luck I am not going nowhere but the belly of the beast if it wakes up.
American Simpson comes over with a hip crowd of his co-workers and they all have the best weed I have ever smoked. So many strange kinds. Like a weed called "Ham" that looks like red pieces of cut meat. So cute sexy girls among the friends. This weed set never met me before but they seem to really like if soon as we do if not before. But I am so high I have to lay on the floor. I cannot sit upright. I cannot think straight. I am a baffoon trying to keep up with their intelligent conversation but just saying stupid shit. I wake up from this dream many times and here is the craziest part. When I wake up I am extremely high but I have not been smoking and I, in fact, have not been smoking except when Simpson comes around with some. Yet really super high, euphoria on waking.I feel so good I lay back in bed enjoying the beyond full body high til I fall asleep and resume the dream. I resume the dream somewhere around 14 times. I even go to a crazy building where they are buying this weed from a store. A gray market semi sorta legal for now store. The shop keeper looks like Breitbart the deceased alt right activist/journalist. Turns out by subscribing to the store's services you get massive amounts of this power weed for 9 dollars a month! I made a game out of cut up sheets of paper for maps events and characters and I sell it there. I was so high I forgot to write instructions. The game makes no sense at all. I ask if anyone has been checking it out. He nods but then backtracks and says "No one pays it any mind". They sell super amateur art projects the subscribers make. The building the store is in is a massive one. A building on the near future. At the end of the dream phase of the dream that recall the hip crowd are going to hang out at some friend of theirs. They dug me at first but I am boring, just laying down skipping most of the smoking rounds for being too out of it. One dude who likes me the most and a lady give me 8th ounces of the great weed. One 8th looks like ordinary high grade but the other looks like a bunch of fat white strings.
New feature on Facebook. Your video image projected into a pop-art scene with live sexy dancing Women. Famous stars get to be in the actual studio and have the real dancers around them as they blog with their mouths. The whole thing is repugnant to me and it pisses me off.
I go to my family's house. It is different much larger with two stories. The children have all these interesting little figurines that have subtle variations to them. Made from a rich colored shiny plastic. I ask what are there? There are lots of them, houses and larger objects too. These are objects made from molds I am told. I am excited by the idea! You can make all these variations with a single mold and have them come out these bright and seamless! I ask to see the molds the figurines were made from. I am shone the molds. The molds are just 3-D figurines that look just like they others. "These are not molds, you can't get a 3-D image from pressing the plastic around them". I say but they are somehow. I am confused what it is, how?
I and a friend are on an island after society breaks down. Godzilla lives on the island and he kills anyone he can. This is a mountainous rocky island full of caves. We flee into caves or hide under boulders to shield us from Godzilla's flaming breath. Inside the cave system is a tribe of low tech white people. They wear modern clothes and they have a few tech items from before the vague apocalypse. They refuse to guide us to a safe place or even give us directions. They want Godzilla to kill the outsiders. I take a pretty young Woman hostage. She has full round breasts a fine body and dark black hair. I will force her to take us somewhere safe because she will die with us if she takes off to Godzilla. I put her into a hold with my crotch pressed against her nice ass. Feels good Man. As I force her forwards I start kneading those firm round breasts. Feels good Man. I know she will get me killed before even encountering me so I don't feel bad about plundering pleasure from her like that. Kinder than burning someone to death with Godzilla's fire exhaust. We are almost to what she claims is safety. A carved room where people just around doing nothing. This is the main thing the tribe does...Nothing. There are paperback books on the floor. I see a couple H P Lovecraft ones I have not read before. I steal them as I go. I let her go and walk into the area on the other side of the island. It was a trap! here comes Godzilla to kill us and we are on the run again.
I am in Massachusetts visiting Tree. We visit a used vinyl store. We go to a surreal swimming building even though I can't swim. I think I will drown but instead, I float. We are hanging with Tree's friends including a Man from India who has his daughter with him. He goes to the Men's room and asks me to look after his daughter til he returns. While standing by her the cops come. They are patrolling the airport. I am on the list of people who said bad things about President Trump. So they accuse of being a pedo. They smash me into a glass table and I lose an eye.
I decide to start making comics and cartoons. I start making up characters like Matt Somnal. Who lives in a tiny janitors closet that is in the outside wall of a building. These characters come alive and I walk around and talk with them. The middle age art patron lady whose apartment in the same building I left a notebook at. I retrieve the notebook and talk to her. She has a low cut blouse and when she bends over I can see her naked breasts. Normally as a male I would at least try to look her in the eyes, but why? This is a construction of my own mind and I know it and she has sexy breasts so I stare straight at them the whole time. Sexual energies explode into orgasm.
I am supposed to be at work or at home or something like that. I am not supposed to be walking on the street. I have no car. I keep seeing people I know or have known long ago. A couple of Men I don't dig very much to begin with fall in step with me. They are wearing tacky traveling salesmen suits. One says something that sounds racist and nodding for me to agree with him. I just give him a dirty look and he explains he was just quoting a Bennie Hill skit that is going viral on Facebook. Ok whatever, I keep walking hoping they will go away. They keep up with me for awhile talking all about Hill. Finally, I am away from them. I see my mother driving a car and I hope she don't see me because I am not supposed to be on the street. I don't know why but it's some kind of rule. We are all walking right in one of the lanes of the road. The cars going by have to drive in the other lane. This seems like a parade or a protest. I We are about to cross the intersection where there is a high school to the right on the road. I see a big group of high school students are pushing this massive steel dumpster along in what seems to be an epic effort. I tell the person I am walk talking with that we should wait for them to cross because the inertia they have built up if we block them will make the huge many ton dumpster stop and they will have to put horrible effort into keeping it going. They are about to try to bump the dumpster over the raise curb of the street, I don't think they will be able to do it. I see a possibility it may turn over sideways crushing half the students. I turn onto a side street to avoid the mess and I never see what happened but I think they made it. The side street is more like a festival. People dressed more for being out and being seen. I see a Man is a harlequin outfit opening hitting a blue glass pipe. "Go medieval dude!" I just. Then I correct myself. "Go Jester!".
I go to a party with Carney. Lots of booze and weed. Carney steals things from fucked up people who don't notice at the time. The main person I talk to there is a 14-year-old boy. The only cool person there. At some point there is a near orgy. A big pile of groping people, mostly Women. Only Men who treat ladies bad are invited. So I hang with the 14-year-old. The hour is getting late I want to go home but people who otherwise ignore me pressure me to be cool and stay. There is a stripper who has had some sorta breast augmentation that has gone wrong. Carney is like "Lets see them". She tries to back away. He pulls her bikini top off to reveal breasts with sore after surgery mangled nipples. Looks gross. She is humiliated. He proceeds to pitch and roll her pink breast tips. They are several red sore nodes and long formless finger-like growths. Her breasts will heal ugly now. What a funny prank, not. I get sick of this awful party so I drive home, even though I don't know where I am. I find my way.
This part of the dream ends, I wake up and get breakfast. But I feel dizzy and bad so I lay down and fall back to sleep continuing the dream. It is the day after. People from the party last night are stopping by. One of them tells me Carney stole a bunch of stuff out of the garage to hand out as gifts at the party. "Fucking asshole", I say. Someone keeps pressuring me to drive them home in a foot-powered scooter. It can go up to 40 miles an hour but you push it along with your feet. The angle is all wrong, the handle bars so thick I cannot see the road, it starts fishtailing then we wreak into the ditch. A low ditch with white ice that has melted to a jelly consistency. "I can't see well enough to drive it, I explain. The 14-year old takes over. I push with my feet and he steers. We go right by a cop who is parked beside to road to catch road law violators. I know we are getting pulled over when he surges out after us. But then he is gone. I am alone on the scooter. I just want to drive up. I get it going as fast as it goes. Down Tyler road and turning into my long driveway. I see that someone is shooting off full on missiles but a site beyond the farm. The streak by in the sky with a sound like a fighter plane. The driveway seems very long. I see two airplanes have landed in the field by the driveway. I know Carney is shooting off the missiles for fun. But potentially a lot of random people are going to die when they land is firey explosions. I wonder if I should go over to the planes or if they will shoot me if I do.
Me American Simpson, and someone else are at a mall. A monocromic mall, just shades of gray and brown. Even the people. In one shop I steal some Mexican commercial weed. First I break some of it up nervously. Then put it in a baggie and swinging the baggie walk out into the mall. I walk around feeling up Women, who shrug themselves away without a word and keep walking. I gain lucidity here and there but quickly go back into the normal dream state. I keep waking up then falling back to sleep and resuming the dream. Six resumes. At some point I decide to get naked. I take off all my clothes and continue groping and humping on innocent passers-by. I am driving home. I decide I would rather walk so I abandon my car and go on foot. I switch roads to an recurring dream road. As I walk it gets steeper and steeper. Now it is a ridge of chocolate cake. I eat some of it.
I witness how no matter who it is all play these social games. The results are always the same, things build, heat explode. A small burned crater in the ground. ringed with greasy chalky black charcoal with white ash in the center. These ashes are clothes, dreams, possessions, ideas. I ask someone if they think it is strange that thoughts manifest into phyical ashes or if it seems odd no matter what the same result every time for all people. But no one thinks it is strange at all, or even interesting.
4-29-17 Coffee
I don't have any coffee or means of making it at home so I go over to my parents house across the drive way. The sky is late evening and somber. My family are in Colorado for summer vacation. I am very tired, and when I get to the door I realize it's locked and I did not bring my keys. I return to my place to get the keys. Bottle rockets and other fireworks are going on in the area. The rockets seem more like missiles. Metal bodies and longer than I am tall. I am returning. I think I heard male voices hidden down the cliff that drops into a low valley past the shelter belt. South field a low valley in this dream. I think they may be trespassing and setting off these oversized fireworks to fuck with me. A bottle rocket missile flys not into the air but over the farm and it is going to hit the ground. I run. After just a few steps I manage to get some ten feet from where it will land. The great firework arcs and lands not far from me. I am so tired I cannot run anymore, I can just slowly crawl forwards with great effort. It starts puffing into bursts of colored flame. I need to get another twenty feet farther to avoid being burned but I can only struggle forwards really slowly.
5-3-17 lucid night dream
Before this dream Carney called me a little past 11pm waking me up. It pissed me off so I let it ring and went back to sleep. But in the dream I cannot get back to sleep. I say "What the fuck Carney don't call me that late". I hear him answer beside me in bed. He is naked under the blankets and he wants to rub his crotch against me. I fight the bastard off. Next thing I know I am in the living room and its dark. Something is strange about the room and it is cold from a cranked up window unit. My family is in Colorado and I am the only one on the farm. I realize I am in my old trailer. Who the fuck is wasting electircity cranking up a AC unit in a trailer no one lives in? Probably the kids. I gather my stuff. Seems I have a armload of things to haul back. I try to turn it ac off but I cannot. I drop my smartphone and crack the glass in several places. No more display, just gray fuzzyness on the screen. I hear a ragged dirty engine sound outside after thinking I saw headlights on the farm a few times. I am now sure that I am hearing an engine. I try to turn the trailer lights off but they won't. I go outside, the old trailer is by the garage. I is dark and hazy out here. I think I see a truck made for hauling tree limbs, fully loaded and parked there. I get so weak and tired I lay down on my back in the yard. It's not a truck is a dirty old white four wheeler. A driver kid and another kid riding behind him. They start up the machine to leave, after doubtlessly stolen something. I cannot move. Dude starts up and guns the engine and the machine surges forwards out of control and flips side to side. Flipping over right in front of me. I try to scream at them. "What the fuck I was sleeping in my yard and asshole trespassers invade!", I want them to think I sleep outside to throw them off. They speed off and I start returning home pondering calling the police. I feel the cops will just take me to jail for whatever excuse they can find so i don't. I hear the four-wheeler coming back. I try to run along the ridge that is the treeline with a valley on the other side. I am soweak and tired I fall onto my back and cannot go no farther. But my body starts sliding forwards from some unknown pull and briefly I realize that I am dreaming. I am in a wooded area and I look for a weapon. I pick up a long strip of thin metal to make it look like I am holding a rifle. But the strip keeps bending. I try to scream "I will kill you, I will shoot you!", But my voice is thin and weak and I can just barely walk.